Action figures and their beers!
submitted by:Beedo Sookcool 03.25.09 at 12:01am
Last week, it was two-reviews-for-the-price-of-one with Hobgoblin ale and Green Goblin cider. This week, it's another cider, and the last such beverage before we get back to honest-to-goodness beers. Watch where you step; there's Rattlers in these here parts . . . . And if you've ever participated in one of those stupid, barbaric Rattler Round-Ups, watch your step around me, or I'll flood your house with gasoline, rip your head off and turn it into an ashtray, flay your skin and make it into matching belt and boots, and barbecue your flesh for a snack. But that's the Ecology-Minded Conservationist in me talking. Also, the Psychotic Deranged Evil Bastard Who Thought The Hannibal Lecter Films Were Comedies. Getting back to the subject intended: on with the Alcoholic Beverage Report!

CORNISH RATTLER:
Again, this is a cider (or, if you look at the label, cyder, which is presumably more traditional / rustic / pretentious), but it's found in the beer aisle of my nearest supermarket, and I've got the toys to back it up, so I'm including it in this feature. The label on the bottle says "It's cloudy - It's cyder - It bites!" While not as sweet as Woodchuck Amber from Vermont (The King of Ciders, as far as I'm concerned), it's nowhere near as bitter and tart as most British ciders, some of which could give battery acid a run for its money. Unlike General Rattlor or the Cobra Rattler pilot Wild Weasel, Cornish Rattler is actually very nice, and its much-touted "bite" is mainly in its pleasant lingering aftertaste (tangy enough to make you salivate but not wince) and 6% ABV rating.

Drink this if you also like: Apple schnapps. I've drunk a lot of English and Irish ciders over the past few years, trying to find a brand that comes close to the liquid perfection that is Vermont's Woodchuck Cider. The only one I've found like that so far is Merrydown Gold (or sometimes Merrydown Vintage, depending on what's in stock). Cornish Rattler comes a distant third, but it's still good enough that I'd happily drink it again. Pretty much all others are just far too sour for those who want to get merry but still enjoy a delicious taste while doing so. And then again, to each his own. Just 'cause I'm not a fan of most British ciders doesn't mean you might not like the stuff. One man's mead is another man's poison, as the saying goes. Mmmmm . . . . mead. *Gurgle!*