Bill Cable ranks the Best Swag of Celebration!

by Bill Cable
on 2019-04-24, 08:04:41

Swag has taken on a life of its own at Star Wars Celebrations. What started out as simple buttons has grown into a competition to produce the most memorable and creative swag possible. And where there's competition, there's judgment! So I will now declare which swag reins supreme!

The swag rankings are limited to swag I myself received. Because if I didn't get it, there's no real way I can judge it. And I'm only ranking distinct swag. This pretty much prohibits stuff from the amazing sets of beer patches from ranking. A set of a dozen beer patches is awesome, but a single beer patch, while cool, wouldn't make the cut.

Without further ado, here are the best swag of Celebration Chicago!

Number 7: AT-AT Soap!
Unfortunately, this piece was very difficult to photograph through the cellophane. But it's cool. An AT-AT molded out of soap. Presumably to chase away the rank body odor. Image Image Image

Number 6: Ackbar Mouse Trap
Yeah, it's entirely predictable. It even admits as much! But it does come with a mouse droid. It loses a bit on the ranking due to the trap not actually being a working mousetrap. Image

Number 5: Han Endor "han towel"
Another bad pun, but the quality of craftsmanship on show here is top notch! It's an actual cloth towel with the Vintage Han Endor cardback printed on it. Image Image

Number 4: Dengar Disguise Kit
Much like the Lando Disguise Kit from (I believe) one of the Celebration Orlandos, this is a very cheesy collection of bandages, toilet paper, and faux leather you can wrap around your head to dress up as you (least) favorite bounty hunter! Thanks to Shawna Bova for this one. Image Image

Number 3: Pizza the Hutt gangster playset
The folks at SARLACC went full-on multimedia with their swag this year. They handed out a pizza menu door hanger with a phone number on it. When you called the phone number, you heard a recorded message inviting you to visit a secret location at a secret time for a secret gift. I rank this swag at 3 based solely on the creativity shown on the door hanger and associated phone call. The shot glass and pin are nice, too, though! Image Image

Number 2: K-2SO's Cereal
Now this is a concept perfectly realized! A take off on the Vintage Kellogg's C-3PO's cereal featuring K-2SO. The box features all of K-2SO's snarky attitued and tons of humorous references. This swag very nearly took our top spot. I just absolutely love it. But dagnabbit - I forgot to take a photo of the mask on the back!! Produced by the legendary James Gibbons. Image Image

Number 1: Swedish "Free Boba Fett" kit
What at first appears to be a mail-away boxed Boba Fett turns out instead to be instructions on how to break Boba Fett out of jail! When I first received this, I didn't fully appreciate it's brilliance. Then it sunk in. When you open the box (a replica of a Vintage mail-away box), insted of Boba Fett you'll get your mission - to cook a batch of Swedish meatballs to deliver to Boba Fett so he can break out of jail! It comes complete with a recipe for Swedish meatballs and a tiny say to hide inside one of the meatballs! And you get a patch depicting Boba's current prediciment (based off the mail-away offer on Vintage cardbacks). This is an absolute triumph! Congrats to the Swedes for producting the very best swag of Celebration Chicago! Image Image Image Image Image is not affiliated with Lucasfilm Ltd. or any of its licensees... damn them to hell. Can't they see a golden opportunity when they see it? Buy us, you fools! You already own our souls and all our money... buy US!!! This site uses Google Analytics. It does not collect or share any additional user data.
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