Action Figures & Their Beers Ciders -- Road Hog

by Beedo Sookcool
on 2018-10-29, 11:45:03


This cloudy sparkling cider made with rhubarb and bestowed with a clunky name comes from the Weston’s Cider Press in Herefordshire. Rosie’s Pig is actually the nickname given to one of the company’s first stubborn old delivery trucks, and is a sub-line of their products, of which Flat Tyre, here, is one. “Made with fresh pressed Herefordshire apples, this sweet and well balanced cider is slowly matured and left unfiltered to create an uncompromising flavour,” says the bumf on the back of the can. “The fruity taste paired with a tart finish makes it refreshingly moreish.” And, yes, we spell those rubber things you put on wheels as “tyres” here in Britain. Because we just do. Nobody seems to know why the change in spelling happened. It just did. Image

The action figure I chose to match up with Flat Tyre is Masters of the Universe Classics Dragstor. The original Dragstor from 1986 had a feature where you’d push a ripcord through his back, zip it back out, and he’d streak across the floor on a wheel where his abs should be at great speed and smash down his enemies in the kind of hit-and-run that could only happen on Eternia, Etheria, or Third Earth (fans of the Berserkers, and Ram-Bam in particular, know what I’m talking about). This MOTUC version of Dragstor doesn’t do that. His wheel is a fake, a sculpted feature on his armour overlay that doesn’t work. Hence, wheel that doesn’t work = flat tyre.

Now, to be fair, the figure itself is larger, vastly more articulated and much better-sculpted than the vintage version, has his own engine-block-themed crossbow which can plug into the engine on his back for extra “zoom” (Vintage Dragstor just got a straight-up repack of Mantenna’s crossbow), and a nifty whip-axe weapon based on his old ripcord. So he looks pretty dang badass, but I do miss that rolling wheel . . . .

But what’s the drink like? Not bad, at first taste. It’s a fizzy, very pink, tart can of 4% ABV tastiness, but it’s not the best British cider I’ve ever had. (It’s the apples they make it with and the sulphites they use as preservatives that mar the flavour for me.) But, it literally does what it says on the tin and tastes like a rhubarb and apple pie, minus the crust. Which is good enough for me. It’s definitely nice, but now that I’ve tasted it, I don’t really feel the need to go out and stockpile the stuff, if you know what I mean. Box ticked, moving on.

Which is a shame, because rhubarb is a lovely flavour (especially paired with a creamy vanilla custard) that deserves to be lauded, and is sadly not very common outside the UK these days. It’s a good old traditional English foodstuff which is a testament to how inventive the common people can be with foraged food if the gentry won’t allow them to eat anything. “So we’ll get hanged by the sheriff if we eat any of the deer, pigs, fish, fowl, or fruit in the area, will we? All, right, let’s find a way to make these potentially poisonous plant-stalks at least taste good, then . . . .”

Actually, the more I drink of this stuff, the better it tastes, and the happier I feel. And that’s how pubs make their money, boys and girls, and why Uncle Beedo needs to detox.

Drink this if you also like: British ciders, fruit ciders, rhubarb pies. is not affiliated with Lucasfilm Ltd. or any of its licensees... damn them to hell. Can't they see a golden opportunity when they see it? Buy us, you fools! You already own our souls and all our money... buy US!!! This site uses Google Analytics. It does not collect or share any additional user data.
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