So that explains it!!

by Darth Danno
on 2017-10-04, 06:46:35

With "Star Wars: From A Certain Point of View" currently hitting bookshelves, it got me thinking, with all the illustrious writing talent at, why were none of us asked to scribe any tales for this grand tome? So I figured I’d go straight to the source and contact Lucasfilm directly.

First Lucasfilm told me to contact Random House, then Random House said I had to talk to Lucasfilm, this went on for about a week until I figured out that LFL was the route to go and began contacting them in earnest. So after being transferred 132 times, hung up on 87 times, disconnected 64 times, told "the person I needed to speak to wasn’t in and I needed to call back" 43 times, left 31 voicemails, and was put on hold…let me see, I believe the longest consecutive period was 4 days straight, I finally got someone who was more than happy to speak to me…something about drawing the short straw, whatever that means. But I finally was able to get answers which I can now disperse to our waiting and adoring public.

I was informed that stories written by Bill, Beedo, Tresob, and myself and had previously posted on were actually selected to be in the book quite a while ago, but they felt these tales were so good, so incredibly special, that they weren’t meant to JUST be in the mass market edition, but instead put in an ultra-rare, highly collectible slip-cased edition, the details of which are as follows:

This edition will be released to coincide with the 100th anniversary of Star Wars, so that means you won’t see it on the shelves until sometime in May 2077. I believe the date I was given was May 32nd. And will be exclusively sold at all Borders Bookstores. Furthermore, I was informed that the contributing staff of would be flown out to an undisclosed location where we will be able to sign and number each and every copy, all we have to pay for is flight, hotel, transportation to & from, food, etc… Lastly, I was told this will be an extremely limited print run, I asked exactly how many were to be included in this run? Now they couldn’t give me an exact answer, but did say it was more than -1, but less than 1. So that makes this a truly rare collectible indeed!

Now Bill, Tresob, and Beedo needn’t worry, I made sure to cover all the bases and inquired about our royalty checks, how much we should expect, and when should we start seeing them, and was told I needn’t worry about that as all funds would be going to help cover the legal fees for harassment, stalking, libel, and all the other lawsuits that were being brought against me. So there you have it! has finally received the recognition and notoriety that we so richly deserve! We can now honestly say we suck like never before!! is not affiliated with Lucasfilm Ltd. or any of its licensees... damn them to hell. Can't they see a golden opportunity when they see it? Buy us, you fools! You already own our souls and all our money... buy US!!! This site uses Google Analytics. It does not collect or share any additional user data.
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