Happy stupid, fake Star Wars holiday, everybody!!

by Bill Cable
on 2017-05-04, 07:27:39

Today is the day we officially celebrate Star Wars, all because some dude somewhere noticed that if you say the date in the torturedly wrong order as "May the Fourth" it sounds exactly like the Nerd from Robot Chicken saying "May the Force." And thus a holiday was born - because lazy puns appeal to a small, vocal segment of Star Wars fandom.

Plus, you know, retailers latch onto ANY idea that might separate us from our hard-earned cash. They were eager to promote this new holiday, making it a Valentine's-like cash cow exploiting the geek community. Hooray for corporate-sponsored revelry!

I like to think of "Star Wars Day" as the "Cinco de Cuatro" of Star Wars holidays. If you're not familiar with "Cinco de Cuatro," you should immediately do yourself a favor and jump on Netflix and binge watch Arrested Development. Not only will you learn about the holiday, you'll enjoy the best-written comedy series in the history of television.

But for the sake of this article, I'll explain. "Cinco de Cuatro" was a holiday invented in the show by entitled white California millionaires because they were offended by all the Mexican immigrants partying on Cinco de Mayo. They were ignorant to the fact that Cinco de Mayo honors an actual event (similar to, say, May 25th being the date that Star Wars was first released in cinemas). And - now this is key here - they chose the name "Cinco de Cuatro" because they thought it sounded good. They were oblivious that the phrase is meaningless in Spanish. And that's why it's the perfect analog for today's Star Wars Day. Because, you see, "May the Fourth" is similarly meaningless in Star Wars. It just sounds vaguely good.

So go ahead and enjoy your made-up holiday based on a bad pronunciation! Maybe you'll score something for 20% off at Pottery Barn!

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